Not All Thoughts Are True: How CBT Can Change Your Life
Have you ever thought, “They might not like me” or “I’m going to fail”? What if I told you those thoughts might not even be true—and worse, they could be holding you back?
Hi, I’m Mattie, a licensed therapist in California offering virtual therapy. I love sharing practical mental health tools, and today I want to talk about one that’s been a game-changer for me: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Let me share a personal story about how I learned this lesson the hard way—and how CBT helped me stop believing every negative thought that crossed my mind.
The Overthinking Spiral
A few years ago, I developed a bad habit of overthinking everything. This habit affected my social interactions and how I appeared in the world.
One day, I was walking down the street and saw someone I knew. I smiled and waved, but they didn’t respond. Immediately, my mind started spinning: “They must be mad at me. Did I say something wrong? Are they avoiding me?”
I spent the entire day overthinking the situation, replaying it, and feeling increasingly anxious. The next time I saw them, I avoided them altogether, convinced they didn’t like me.
The CBT Breakthrough
That all changed when I discovered CBT. One of the first lessons CBT taught me is that not all thoughts are true.
CBT helped me step back and challenge my automatic thoughts. Instead of assuming the worst, I learned to ask myself questions like:
What evidence do I have for this thought?
Could there be another explanation?
When I revisited the situation with the person who didn’t wave back, I realized: What if they didn’t even see me? That thought opened up a whole new perspective.
The next time I saw them, instead of avoiding them, I said hello—and guess what? They were friendly! It turned out my initial thought was completely false.
Thoughts, Behaviors, and Emotions: The CBT Connection
One of the most powerful lessons of CBT is understanding how our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are interconnected.
Here’s how it worked in my example:
Thought: They’re mad at me.
Behavior: I avoided them.
Emotion: I felt anxious and insecure.
When I changed my thought to, “Maybe they didn’t see me,” my behavior also changed—I said hello. That new behavior led to a more positive emotion: relief and connection.
Cognitive Distortions: How Your Brain Plays Tricks on You
CBT also taught me about cognitive distortions—the sneaky ways our minds can trick us into believing things that aren’t true.
Here are two common ones:
Mind Reading: Assuming you know what someone else is thinking (e.g., “They’re mad at me”).
Catastrophizing: Taking a small event and jumping to the worst-case scenario (e.g., “They didn’t wave back, so they must hate me, and no one likes me”).
Does this sound familiar? These distortions can feel so real, but they’re often just that—distortions.
How to Challenge Negative Thoughts
The next time a negative thought pops into your head, try these three steps:
Ask: Is this thought really true?
Look for evidence: What evidence do I have for this thought?
Consider alternatives: Could there be another explanation?
For example, if someone doesn’t respond to your wave, instead of assuming they’re mad at you, consider other possibilities: “Maybe they didn’t see me, or they were distracted.”
When in Doubt, Take Opposite Action
Even after challenging a thought, you might still feel unsure. That’s where opposite action comes in. Opposite action means doing the opposite of what your negative thought or feeling tells you to do.
For me, opposite action meant approaching the person and saying hello, even though I felt nervous. Their friendly response was the proof I needed to challenge my initial thought and feel more confident moving forward.
The Takeaway: You Are Not Your Thoughts
The biggest lesson CBT taught me is this: You are not your thoughts. They don’t control you, and you have the power to change how you think, feel, and act.
By learning to challenge negative thoughts and take intentional actions, you can break free from the cycle of overthinking and start showing up in the world with more confidence and clarity.
Ready to Start Your CBT Journey?
As a therapist offering virtual CBT sessions in California, I specialize in helping individuals reframe their thoughts, overcome cognitive distortions, and take actionable steps toward a more fulfilling life. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, perfectionism, or relationship challenges, CBT can help you make meaningful changes.
If you’re curious to learn more, check out my YouTube video where I dive deeper into this topic:
🎥 Watch Now: Not All Thoughts Are True – How CBT Can Change Your Life
Thanks for reading, and remember—you’ve got the power to change your story, one thought at a time.
Warmly,
Mattie Chein, LCSW
Licensed Virtual Therapist in California