Why You’ll Never Love Your Body by Losing Weight (And What to Do Instead)
Endlessly trying to lose more weight? You are not alone.
Have you ever said to yourself, “If I could just lose a little more weight, everything would be better”? Maybe you’ve spent years trying, thinking life would feel better once you lost that weight.
You’re not alone.
As a therapist, I’ve worked with so many people who feel the same way. But here’s the truth: I’ve never met anyone—no matter their size—who truly loves their body as it is.
Not one person.
What if I told you the voice in your head, the one saying you’re not enough, isn’t your enemy? It’s just misunderstood. By the end of this article, I’ll help you start rewriting the story that voice has been telling you for far too long.
Hi, I’m Mattie
I’m a licensed therapist, but more importantly, I’m someone who’s spent much of my life not liking my body.
Shocking, right?
The funny thing is, I thought I was alone in feeling this way.
Sure, I knew diet culture and “thinspiration” were everywhere. I heard all those whispers about wanting to be skinnier, so I knew I wasn’t really alone. But I still felt like I was.
It wasn’t until I became a therapist that I fully understood. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Most people—women, men, everyone—struggle to accept their bodies.
And it breaks my heart.
It breaks my heart because I see myself in them. It breaks my heart because I see how beautiful they are, just as they are.
But there they are, tormenting themselves, picking apart their reflection, and I want to scream:
“You are freaking beautiful, darling! Please don’t doubt that!”
You Are Not Alone
If you’ve ever hated the way you look, you’re not alone.
If you’ve ever stood in front of the mirror and wished for a different body, you’re not alone.
So, to all my clients, friends, and anyone reading this: You are more beautiful than you think.
Let me explain why.
The Voice Inside Your Head
We all have that little voice in our heads. You know the one—it says things like:
“You’d look better if you lost a few pounds.”
“Your arms are too big.”
“Just a few more pounds.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing about that voice: It thinks it’s helping you.
That voice likely started with someone else. Maybe it was the first person who ever made you feel “not enough.” It could’ve been a comment about your weight as a kid. Or a remark about your thighs, your chin, or your arms.
Chances are, they didn’t mean to hurt you. They thought they were helping. They just wanted you to fit into society’s impossible beauty standards so you’d feel accepted.
But now, that voice is stuck on repeat. It tells you you’re not enough, no matter what you do.
What Does That Voice Really Want?
Here’s the wild part: That voice doesn’t hate you.
It’s scared. It’s trying to protect you—from rejection, judgment, or loneliness.
So, what do you do about it? You talk to it.
I know it sounds a little strange, but hear me out:
Picture your younger self—the version of you that first started hearing these criticisms. Imagine that younger version of you standing in front of you.
Now, ask them:
What are you feeling?
What are you afraid of?
Listen to their answers. Be kind. Comfort them the way you would a friend or a child.
Tell them they are enough. Tell them they are loved, just as they are.
This is where the healing starts.
You Are More Than Your Reflection
You are more than your reflection. You are more than the sum of your so-called “flaws.”
That voice in your head? It doesn’t define you.
So, the next time it pipes up, remind yourself:
“You are enough. You’ve always been enough.”
Bodies aren’t the measure of our worth. But if you ever need a reminder, I see you. And I promise—you’re beautiful.
Why Work With Me?
If you’re struggling with body image, self-esteem, or that critical voice in your head, you don’t have to face it alone. I’m Mattie, a licensed therapist offering virtual therapy in California. Together, we can work through these feelings and help you reclaim your confidence and joy.
Schedule your free 15-minute phone consult today.